March 30, 2009

A Battle Of Epic Proportions

Saturday night = EEEEEK!

That about sums it up.

I had a particularly lazy day on Saturday, and I'm not proud of it. I stayed at my place (instead of going to my parent's house) in order to clean it. I didn't. My own laziness astounds me sometimes, and I'm just so gosh-darned easily distracted!

Particularly distracting was the W channel, which had a triple flick of Sandra Bullock movies. First was "Two Weeks Notice", followed by "The Lake House", with "Miss Congeniality" rounding it up. I had, at that point, seen the first and last, but not "The Lake House", which also stars my beloved Keanu Reeves. Keanu? Call me. Let's make cute babies. Please?! Anyhoomoo...

So, I decided to watch "The Lake House", because I'd never seen it. I was getting to the climax of the movie, the last half hour or so, when I saw a bit of movement by my TV stand. I froze, then looked again and tried to focus my eyes in the twilight lighting of my place (it was about 7:30pm-ish). Guessss WHAT! It was a giant spider! WOOHOO. I can't even begin to vent my frustrations of living underground (read: basement suite) and the bugs that come with it. I don't mind medium sized ones, I don't mind small ones - and by "mind" I mean, killing them is not as terrifying. But the big ones? EEEK!

The worst part of all was that, when I looked at the spider, it paused, then ran back under (or what I thought was under) the TV stand. I quickly gathered my spider combat armamentarium: tall rubber boots, raid, and a heavy shoe. I spent the next 20 minutes or so not focusing on the most important part of the movie, and thus, missing the whole plot twist and ending, but instead waiting for this stupid mo-fo to appear. Not fun.

It finally came out from behind a box and I screamed, and sprayed, and jumped up and down, and squealed. My spider combat phrases consist of:

"AHHHHHHHH" "EEEEEEEEEK" "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!!" "DIE MOTHER ******! DIE!!!"

I apologize, it can get quite explicit.

To sum up, I triumphed over the evil son-of-a-gun. I sprayed the poop out of it until it was moving slower than before, before I promptly dropped a shoe on it. I have deadly accuracy with shoes. 'Tis a gift.

It was the perfect way to spend the evening, and it left me feeling paranoid and afraid. So paranoid and afraid that I kept my boots on until I went to sleep much, much later.

For the sake of my eyes and my readers eyes, I will NOT be posting a picture of the type of spider. It was big and gross. Fin.

Phew....

4 comments:

mrs shortcake said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

firas said...

hahahaha oh erika, you're crazy.

sweetartist said...

I know. I KNOW! It was soo... uck... I googled the varieties of household spooders at Mom's place.. She was laughing at me because I was reading and looking at pictures, almost writhing in fear in the chair. :)

Unknown said...

AAAH spider!!!!! I will constantly be on the lookout the next time I'm at your place! Not sure if I will be able to keep up my fire alarm fanning duties with this new responsibility.